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Greyhound

March 17, 2012

Not really sure where to start my paper/journal entry on my Greyhound Bus trip. First, I would like to say that I am not an English major. Secondly, I usually stick to 140 character tweets, so this is going to be tough. Where to start the story…. Okay, so six of my offensive line buddies and me went to Florida for spring break. The week was awesome. Super fun, got sun burnt, and ate way too much food. The week took a turn for the worst when I left our house in seaside to go meet up with some of the UGA Cheerleaders staying in Panama City Beach (Which I might say is the nastiest place on planet earth) . When we arrived we went to eat dinner with country singer Luke Bryan, probably one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. The next day we went to his concert and had a blast. After I rode to Destin with 3 of the Equestrian girls from UGA.

I thought I still had room to ride back with my fellow O-Linemen (Who were staying in Destin that night). I didn’t.  So I needed a way to get home to Athens. I had plenty of ride opportunities that were leaving Saturday or Sunday to Athens, but I wanted to be home Thursday to workout a few days before spring practice started.

How was I going to get to Athens?

Possible choices:  Jog (Never gonna happen)
Hitch hike (Might get killed)
Take a greyhound bus (Oh no….)

So I decided to go with the greyhound bus. I called one of the Equestrian girls and she drove me to Panama City for 40 dollars In the morning. And the trip begins….

I arrive at the greyhound station not knowing what to expect. I literally was scared for my life. I was ticket number 30. The bus pulls in and the bus driver tells the whole group he has 22 seats available. (So what do I do? Ride on the top of the bus?) I am standing by a white guy who looks kinda creepy. He told me his name was Mike but his friends call him “Lil Meek”. He told me that he had just gotten out of jail because he beat up a cop in panama city beach. GOOD. He was ticket number 31. So he and I decided would stand for the first two hours with ten other people…

I was not going to stand for two and a half hours. This story is 100% true. I laid on the floor of this bus from Panama to Tallahassee. I laid on my side because my shoulders were too big to lay on my back. There was a Mexican guy kicking me in the side and cussing me out saying “There is a fat-a** white boy on my foot.” I slept a little bit the first trip but I was laying in the nastiest floor on the whole world. We finally arrived into Tallahassee and it took me five minutes to get off of the ground. I was practically stuck in the isle of the bus.

Once we get off the bus we took a thirty minute break and we got onto a nicer bus. I talked to Lil Meek for a few minutes and told me about his “baby momma” and his kid Malcolm who he was going to see. He seemed like a great guy. On the second bus I was lucky enough to get a seat. I sent a text to my roommate and said, “I have a seat  #blessed” It had been four hours and my phone was almost dead. I asked every single person on the bus if they had an iPhone charger. Half the bus didn’t even own a phone. Three people asked me what an iPhone was.

Anytime someone on the bus used the phone I could hear them. The best conversation was a young lady who was screaming at a man asking him questions, “Where is da baby at?” and “You betta not let yo crazy-a** aunt have my baby” and my personal favorite, “Once I get off this d*** bus imma come find you and beat yo a**”. She was really angry.

The next few hours not much happened. We stopped in Thomasville, Cordele, and Macon. In Thomasville to my rescue, a nice young lady carrying an iPad, iPhone, and iPad walked on. She let me use her charger three times. I was on my phone the entire time and had to recharge it three times.

This part is the craziest part of the trip. We stopped in Cordele to get food. We pulled into a gas station that had a Dairy Queen inside of it. Me and about forty people got off the bus and walked inside to find the that Dairy Queen was closed. There was one person who screamed, “I’m gonna burn this d*** gas station to the ground!” another guy cussed out the bus driver because they wanted food so bad. I had eaten nothing all day. They had these pizza slices that were not very good. I ate two of them, a bag of Buggles, and red Powerade Zero and a pack of Reeses. When we got on the bus there was a guy sitting beside me and he had not gotten off and did not have any food. Each stop he smoked like three cigerettes. I felt bad so I offered him some of my Buggles. He said verbatim, “No thanks man, while I’m on Meth I never get hungry but thanks anyways.” At this moment I almost lost it. The guy just admitted to doing Meth in front of me. The trip continued for a lot lot lot lot lot lot longer…. The Meth guy started talking to himself. A baby in the back cried for twenty minutes straight. I needed a ride back to Athens and finally convinced a pretty tennis player named Lauren Herring to come pick me up. She told me she was going to be a little late because she had dinner plans already. So I knew I would have to spend about two hours at the greyhound bus station in Atlanta. Dear god help me…

I swear there is not a scarier, sketchier, and ghetto-er place in this entire world than this bus station in the hood of Atlanta. I sat down and watched the basketball game and very shortly a fight broke out. There was and older white guy with a cane who was yelling at a Mexican for taking off his shoes. The old man said, “Put them dang stinky shoes back on right now amigo”(in a very country accent) the Mexican who looked really scary, decked out in tattoos, tackled the white guy and started punching him. The fight was very short, but had a great deal of intensity. They both got throw out. Next, a man yelled at the customer service for literally for twenty minutes, then fell asleep, then woke up and started yelling again.. He get thrown out by the same security guard.

Lastly I walked out side to wait for Lauren to come get me. I had four people beg me for money. I had one guy try and sell me lighter for three dollars? Then another guy came up to me with a bag and in it had five Gameboy Colors. He wanted to sell them to me for thirty dollars. I kindly declined.

Finally my ride came and I drove back to Athens. It took my 6 hours to get to the beach. I left Destin at 7:45a.m. I arrived at my dorm at 11:25p.m.

I encourage everyone to take a greyhound bus trip somewhere and it will open your eyes to things that will blow your mind. Hope everyone else had a good spring break.

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55 Comments
  1. kelvin locke permalink

    What a crazy story, I know that your dad would be proud of you. Keep up your hard work. GO DAWGS

  2. Tilea permalink

    I feel a NEW YORK BEST SELLING NOVEL COMMING ON!!!

  3. GATA >3 Good job son,keep it up…

  4. LawDawg permalink

    you are now my favorite UGA football player! Go Dawgs!!!

  5. Sam Owen permalink

    I have ridden a lot of greyhound busses, none to pretty but I gotta tell ya that’s the worst story I’ve ever heard. I believe every word

  6. John permalink

    This is hysterical.

  7. Had to share:

    Tony Quinn Posted :
    Please do yourself a favor..Watts Byron Dantzler posted one of the funniest blogs I have ever read in my entire life! Watts is from Dalton, GA and an OL for UGA!!! Watts, I just have to tell you my friend.. your FB is about to go viral, it might blow up! As soon as the BULLDAWG NATION gets this you will have to blog for US the rest of your career. And don’t worry about the English or writing issues…heart to head to paper PUHLEEEEEEZ! THIS WAS GREAT! Sic’ Em TQ
    Greyhound
    wp.me
    Not really sure where to start my paper/journal entry on my Greyhound

  8. bulldogbry permalink

    I feel your pain. Atlanta to Miami -24 hours. Remembering life on the other side – forever. GO DAWGS!

  9. that is awesome, LMAO

  10. JimmieKrackKorn permalink

    Nice story. Reminds me of a friend I had who lived in Berlin Germany. He was infactuated with America particularly the south. When he finally made it to America, he ended up taking a greyhound bus trip from Atlanta to New Orleans. My friend said he’ll always remember this, somewhere in Mississippi, I young black male got on and sat next to him. My German friend spoke pretty good english so he started a conversation with the new rider. Ended up the young black guy was a running back who was a sensation in his small town in MS, and was on his way to play college ball on a football scholarship. My German friend described his visit with young man as his most typically unique southern American experience…which culminated when the young man fell a sleep on his shoulder. The young man finally disembarked to start his college football career in a small town called Baton Rouge…and my friend rode on to New Orleans. He said he will always remember that Greyhound trip.

  11. outstanding post.

  12. Tim Armstrong permalink

    If you think. ATL is bad go to the greyhound station in Dallas.

  13. Johnny Ingram permalink

    and I thought it was gonna be dull when Ben Jones left.

  14. NCT permalink

    Great story. Believe it or not, I live within walking distance of the ATL Greyhound station (although I would hesitate to walk there and certainly wouldn’t after dark). You were within a few blocks of where a lot of the Walking Dead scenes were filmed. And I refer to some of that neighborhood’s regulars as “walkers”. Glad you made it back home safely.

  15. Mike Ryder permalink

    You have good story-telling talent and need to seriously consider keeping a journal of your experiences, especially this football season. You’re expressive and paint a good picture for the reader’s imagination. If you do this for fun soon you’ll find you’re better & better at it. These are tools you’ll have long after your college and football days have passed. Good Luck and have a good season (& this coming from a Gator!)

    • Marc permalink

      Watts if you ONLY knew what a huge compliment this is from Ryder.

  16. John Herring permalink

    The great thing about the story is a Herring came to save you in Atlanta. Once took a greyhound to Texas and I swear I could’ve walked there faster than it took to get there. A week! I was 17 and learned a great lesson. Glad you made it back minus any stabwounds. Hope the work out was worth it. Like seeing that GATA attitude! GO DAWGS!

  17. Sharlinda Haight permalink

    After reading this, I am so glad you made it back ok. You probably made it back in one piece because you are one of the biggest guys I know. Please don’t ever do that again! There are some very sketchy people that take the bus for sure!

  18. LeAnne permalink

    Glad you survived. Next time call someone who lives in the middle, we’d gladly pick you up and take you home. Looking forward to seeing you in April.

  19. UGA70 permalink

    Great story Watts. It hasn’t changed much since a High School friend and I had a similar experience back in 1966. We took the bus from our hometown in Moultrie to ATL to see a Bob Dylan Concert. And the ATL bus station was just as bad then, if not worse.

  20. RxDawg permalink

    Haha, great story Watts. I actually have a roundabout similar one to you in almost getting stuck in Florida… Anyways what I want to know is who kicks an SEC offensive lineman!? Next time your stuck Watts just send out a mass tweet and I’m betting the bulldog nation will come to your rescue (is that NCAA violation? eh..probably)

  21. Nestor permalink

    Wow, that was quite an experience. Thanks for sharing. You could write a book with stories like that. Lewis Grizzard made some good money that way.

  22. Russ permalink

    Dude, this is hilarious! I’ve ridden a few buses in my life, but your trip was a little more “colorful” than any I’ve had. Thanks for the post. I hope your others are as funny.

  23. norman jones permalink

    That the funniest story I’ve heard in ages. The next Lewis Grizzard is on the UGA football team! Watts, this story is going to much more attention than you ever imagined. Go Dawgs! and go Watts!

  24. Dawg19 permalink

    Well done, young man. Life is about the stories you live out and tell people about for years to follow. The most boring people in the world are the people who never dare to live.

  25. Dunwoody Dawg permalink

    Had a similar experience my junior year at UGA. Went to the Hall of Fame Bowl in Tampa (1985)to see the Dawgs lose to Boston College in a downpour in Tampa. We were driving back on Christmas Eve when the car we were in blew an engine. We hitchhiked to a bus station in some small town in FL and rode the Greyhound home. An eye opening experience for sure. The bus was packed to the gills and the four of us got spread out all over the bus. Bus driver pulled over and screamed at everyone when the smell of a joint spread throughout the bus (one of my traveling companions was one of the guilty parties). My brother shared a 40 with his seatmate and had a strong offer to continue on to Charlotte where there was crack and hoes available at his new friends’ place. It took like 12 hours to get home and I swear we stopped at every exit on 85 in GA. At least we got off in ATL the bus was headed to NYC. I can’t imagine the agony of the rest of that trip.

  26. W Hamilton permalink

    This is a great account, Watts! LOL! I share your pain, as I once was forced to take the Greyhound from Orlando to Athens! Before we even left the Orlando bus station, the youngest child of a hispanic family on the row in front of me vomited in the aisle. Then I remember waking up in the middle of the night and the bus had stopped for food at a Hardees in Fitzgerald, GA. As luck would have it, I knew people in Fitzgerald — fellow UGA students — and two of them happened to be in that Hardees at that exact moment. I walked out of the Hardees without a shred of dignity after begging those girls to “roadtrip” me the rest of the way to Athens. It was a low point, but I laugh about it now.

  27. Royal Dawg permalink

    Watts, this story is awesome! Nice job and you my friend are a DGD!!!

  28. zumadawg permalink

    This is the best laugh that I’ve had in a long time. It brings back memories of my childhood riding the greyhound with my sister from our mom’s (Perry,FL) to Atlanta for our dad to pick us up (from Athens). Thanks for a great story Watts. God Bless and GO DAWGS!!!!!!

  29. Staci permalink

    Funny! from a Bama fan.

  30. Watts, the “Salty Dawgs” in Myrtle Beach, SC would love to point out to you and your teammates (all UGA teams, actually) that our fair beaches are about six hours away, as well, next break.

  31. Watts, this is hilarious. Panama City is kind of like the Las Vegas of the south. I’ve been there so many times for Spring Break. You can’t plan for things in PC, you just have to deal with what arises. Awesome story, but I must say that your buddies that did not have room for you would have a major a$$ whooping broiling. LOL! Good luck man on the season. Go Dawgs!!!!

  32. Hedder permalink

    I can relate. I rode a greyhound bus from Los Angeles to Las Vegas and the things I had to endure were unspeakable. I have never been so close to committing homicide in my life.

  33. mikedawg permalink

    The next Lewis Grizzard? I think so! Keep writing!

  34. StuDawg permalink

    Hilarious! I had to take a Greyhound once and ended in ATL and it IS a scary place. I hope I never have to do that again.

  35. StuDawg permalink

    I also went to Panama City for spring break once and it is a pretty bad place too! But fun, no doubt.

  36. Watts – PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE blog your exploits during the upcoming season. Dawg fans everywhere would love to read more of your stories.

  37. Don permalink

    38 years ago. Memphis, TN to Jonesboro, AR. 72 miles. 4 hours of pure Greyhound agony. I ended up marrying that girl. She owed me.

  38. kinguga permalink

    I’ve taken three long (40 hr-plus) Greyhound trips in my time. Everyone should do it. Those trips make you feel like you’re stuck in an oddly-written novel.

  39. Dude, I am a Gator and live in Gainesville, I will personally drive you home next time if you will entertain me with your stories. Please keep writing. And someone else mentioned Head to pen to paper. This reminded me of a Lewis Grizzard story.

  40. Jim B permalink

    Where’s a picture pf the pretty tennis player?

  41. UGAmutt permalink

    Watts-
    I took a Greyhound from that same station in Atlanta to Camp LeJeune, North Carolina for Combat Training after bootcamp. Big mistake. I wouldn’t say the two stories were identical twins, but they were cousins who bear a strong resemblance. BTW, I live in California (temporarily, thank the Lord) and the Greyhound station in Los Angeles makes the one in Atlanta look like a Royal Carribean Cruise. God Bless you Brother!

  42. Apaul Blanco permalink

    When I was 19 I was stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC. Before I bought a car I rode Greyhound faithfully. It’s amazing how a 6 1/2 hour trip can take 14, 15, or 16 hours. As excited as I was to get home to Decatur, I had the same dread about getting back on the bus to go back. The bus station in ATL is crazy, is that strip club still across the street?

  43. Lee permalink

    Watts, you’ll probly feel right at home in Athens.

  44. Lyn permalink

    Dude, I am a Gator in Marietta, but I like your style! Rode a bus from Wichita Falls Texas to Denver when I was 14. I will never subject my family to that ever!

  45. UGA 89 permalink

    Watts,
    There is a new bus that has service to Atlanta as well as Athens called the Megabus. It has TV’s as well as charging stations for every person. My parents took it and loved it. It’s clean, very inexpensive($50 round trip) and makes only one stop from Jax. to Atlanta or Jax. to Athens. Keep it in mind next time.

  46. Wes permalink

    LMAO…this story is great! Be thankful for all that you have in this lifetime Watts. Good luck to you & the rest of my bulldogs now and 4 Eva!

  47. Been There permalink

    I flew to Denver once and waited 8 hours in a Greyhound bus station before riding 4 and a half hours to Steamboat. Definitely eye-opening. I was 18, had a motorola v60i that wouldn’t stay charged, and a huge ski bag that wouldn’t fit it a locker so I couldn’t tour Denver. The ride was very interesting to say the least. You’d be suprised what people will say on a bus.

  48. blow my back permalink

    the only thing that could make this tale more exciting is a session of fellatio between you and lil meek…..

  49. blow my back permalink

    yo

  50. Hackerdog permalink

    You were willing to ride a Greyhound bus to leave spring break (with cheerleaders) early to get in some early workouts? Damn Good Dawg!

  51. Melissa Bobo Wiese permalink

    Im in total agreement with others who made reference to Lewis Grizzard. I loved Lewis Grizzard, and you could easily fall right in where he left off. Southern women love a man who can tell a good story. You did a great job here…keep right on rolling with this. And all this is coming from an Alabama girl!

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